A Lost Girl Like Me
by wtevrgrace
Summary: Birdie was quite the closed off Lost Girl, and she had emotions that sometimes she couldn't even control. For Peter and the Lost Boys, it was a common occurrence for them to watch her avoid her own problems by running away from them. But what about this time? What if they're about Peter? How will she possibly rid these unruly feelings or do anything about them at all?
1. Chapter 1

**a/n: Hi friends, I've come to you with a fanfiction that, hopefully, you'll enjoy as much as I enjoyed writing it. Feel free to review and let me know what you think; I don't usually post my writing online and it would be great to have some type of feedback. Anyways, hope you like it!**

**disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't own Peter Pan.**

Sawyer and I sat on a broken log on the far side of the clearing that we usually came to for training, away from everyone else, and especially away from the Wendy Lady. I wanted absolutely nothing to do with her, to me she just seemed like bad news, and she continuously stole attention from Peter. I wasn't the only one that didn't like her very much, Nibs secretly agreed with my opinion.

"Birdie," Sawyer said after some time of the silence that I was growing too fond of, "I'm telling you- she really isn't bad, okay? When she first got here I also thought that she was annoying, but I spent time with her. Real, actual, quality time, and she's alright."

I shook my head with a frown, and stared at Sawyer's brown eyes in irritation, "I don't give a shit and I don't like her. You can't change my mind, Sawyer."

"Why do you not like her, hm?" Sawyer pressed, staring straight back at me. "Why is it that you despise her so when she's done nothing to you? You've literally spoken two words to each other."

"I just don't like her. She gives me a bad feeling."

"You say that about everyone."

"Well," I replied, "I mean it this time."

"Stop being so stubborn and give her a chance, Birdie." Sawyer said.

I played with a few strands of my long brunette locks in a weak attempt to hide my annoyance, the 'tough girl' façade that I usually had was fading away to true frustration, "No," I retorted. "I don't want to, I wont, and I will never. She already gets enough attention from Peter, why would she need any from me?"

Sawyer started laughing, the type of laugh that starts quietly and gradually turns into a really obnoxious noise. I shot him a dirty look, and he slowed his laughing so that he could speak, "I see what this is about."

"Whatever."

"I see a little green monster peaking over your shoulder."

I turned and faced him, his shaggy brown hair shook lightly with his suppressed laughs, and I gave him a hard punch to the shoulder, "Shut the hell up."

"Oh- there it is again! It must be all that denial and refusal built up inside that tiny little-"

"Shut up!" I belted out loudly, and fortunately, none of the boys across the clearing cared enough to find out what had happened. "If I tell you that I'm jealous, will you just shut your mouth?"

I'll admit that over the many years that I'd been present in Neverland, I'd caught feelings for the flying boy. But he managed to charm everyone like that, and I was definitely no exception. If he had you wrapped around his finger like that, than he would always try and use that to his advantage.

"Sure," Sawyer shrugged, his permanent grin sneaking onto his adorable features, "But I don't need you to tell me. I already know."

With a small shake of my head in annoyance, I stood up and pulled him with me before we began to make our way to the group of boys who were all huddled together and surrounding something. I pushed my way to the front of the boys, only to come face to face with Peter and the Wendy Lady, and Peter was teaching her how to throw a dagger. He was standing behind her, guiding her fingers and arms by using his own wrapped around her petite body. I had to fight with myself not to roll my eyes at the sight, and I noticed Sawyer chuckling at me once more from the corner of my eye. With a frown stretching across my features, I punched him in the arm again.

"This is hopeless!" Wendy said as she missed the bull's-eye that Peter had painted on the trunk of a tree. The dagger landed in the dirt about a few feet away from it.

"Nah," Peter said with a small chuckle before he went to retrieve his dagger, and I faintly noticed the B that I'd carved into the hilt of it long ago. "You'll get it eventually, maybe you just need someone to train you."

"Oh, but Peter, I wouldn't want to bother anyone with it." Wendy replied.

"No one will mind, right guys?" Peter smirked at everyone.

The group of boys around me all replied with a 'no', but I would never say such things. Of course it would bother me- who is Peter kidding? He was too quick to assume that we'd always ask 'how high' if he told us to jump, but I wasn't like everyone else. Even he'd discovered that over the years, but somehow he still managed to make me do things even if I had refused.

"Aw," Wendy smiled shyly at us, and I only raised my eyebrow at her. "You all are quite sweet."

Peter's smirk never left his face, "Yeah, they're real skilled too. So, Wendy, would you like someone to train you?"

"Sure, Peter."

"Alright," he replied, and immediately turned to face me. His signature smirk traveled up to his gleaming green eyes mischievously, "Birdie, you'll train her."

"No," I scoffed, glancing from Peter to Wendy, who immediately cast her eyes downward at my stare. "I've other things to do besides train someone."

"Oh really? And what do you have to do?" Peter challenged, crossing his arms.

"Things that you don't need to worry about, so I'd prefer it if someone else would train her."

"Come on, Birdie," pleaded Peter. "You're the best one when it comes to archery."

"So?"

"Oh, but Birdie," Wendy interjected, and my annoyance increased ever so slightly. It seemed that I could only be irritated lately. "I know a few things about archery, most certainly not as much as you, but I'd like to think that I'm a little experienced."

"Alright," Peter said, the smirk still ever present on his face, and he threw a lazy arm over Wendy. "Then she'll do it."

Another scoff managed to escape my lips, and I turned to quickly shove my way through the boys and into the clearing. I headed for the tree line, where I disappeared into a long trail home. I was not flying nor did I have any intention to walk back to Home Tree with them, especially if Wendy was there. Why couldn't Peter just train her? He's not the best at archery, but surely he could teach her some things, more than what I'd bother to teach her tomorrow at least.

Besides, like I said, I've other things to do than to train someone like her. Obviously they aren't very important things, but they still need to be done. For instance, take a damn bath in Tigerlilly's hidden hot spring that she'd shown me long ago. I could also use a bit of time with Lily, she's the only girl here that could possibly understand my annoyance when it came to Wendy, and she's more like me than anyone else in Neverland that I knew.

The familiar crunching of leaves sounded behind me, but I didn't care to look back. "What, Sawyer?"

The boy appeared beside me and blew out a deep breath, "You gotta stop running away from your problems, geez- you make me run too."

"You need the exercise," I made a meager attempt to joke.

"Maybe," replied Sawyer, "But you don't. Can't you just be open with Peter about this? It's _Peter_, he would understand."

"Open with him, are you joking, Sawyer?" I scoffed angrily. "What the hell do you want me to tell him? That I like him? You're a real idiot, you know that?"

No matter how close Sawyer and I were, he really didn't seem to understand that I wasn't as open as the other Lost Boys. I had to enclose myself if I was to be the only Lost Girl; being caught by Hook because somehow in the future he'd use my feelings against me to get to Pan, was not on the top of my priority list.

"Well," Sawyer threw his hands in the air in exasperation. "How else is he supposed to find out?"

"He's not."

"You've got to tell him some time, Birdie, especially if you expect anything to come from it."

And as much as I never would have admitted it then, we both knew that he was right, and nothing would ever become of Peter and I if I did nothing but sit back and watch. But I couldn't just come out and confess something so extreme, especially to a boy who would never be able to understand or feel the same way about me. Who would choose a broken Lost Girl over a beautiful Worldling girl? Stupid.

At the end of the day, I was no better than Tink; a jealous girl who'd always managed to be a thorn in everyone's side with my infamous attitude issues. But the pixie only had the ability to feel one thing at a time because she was so tiny. I could feel multiple emotions though, and sometimes, this was what ruined my entire mood or day. Not Wendy or anyone else who seemed to get in the way, but just myself, because not even I could predict how I would act sometimes. When Wendy had first arrived only a few days ago, I had immediately jumped to conclusions and ran from Home Tree far into the forest. But Sawyer being Sawyer always knew when something was horribly wrong, and he'd followed me all the way to other side of the island just to talk me through my weak point. He knew just as much as I did that I wasn't as much of a tough Lost Girl as I made myself out to be, and I just hoped that he would never take advantage of that like everyone else probably would.

Sawyer and I walked the long trail back to Home Tree for quite some time, but I didn't mind, and I also didn't mind that Sawyer never managed to push away the silence that I enjoyed so much. I would never refuse a break to get away from the Lost Boys that never stopped talking or fighting. At least I had someone who could understand me, and I was secretly appreciative for Sawyer, for he always managed to make me feel better even if I was a very stubborn and closed off girl.


	2. Chapter 2

I sat on the couch that was covered with animal furs in the den of Home Tree lazily, watching the Lost Boys from beside the crackling fireplace, who were playing a game of Ghost Tag. They'd asked me to join but I'd politely refused, I really was tired, and I really didn't want to partake in such games today.

Wendy was playing and was it, blindfolded and chasing after the boys who were running from her all over the den. What a sight to see, really, even Peter was sitting beside me and laughing. She was tripping over almost everything, but she still looked to be having fun. It almost looked like too much fun that she was having. With a small sigh, I forced myself to shift my gaze somewhere else. My eyes casually landed amongst Grip and Slip, the two twins, who were climbing quietly into a small cupboard in the kitchen to hide from the blindfolded girl. Unfortunately, Slip couldn't keep his balance and managed to fall back onto the floor. The boy got up as fast as he could and ran away from Wendy who had been advancing on him. No wonder his name was Slip.

"Why don't ya' play?" Peter asked, sharpening his knife beside me.

"Why don't you?" I retorted, fumbling with a colorful threaded bracelet around my wrist. Vaguely, I remembered when Tiger Lilly had given it to me for a symbol of our strong friendship.

"Fair play," Peter chuckled, his honey brown hair glowing slightly from the churning fire beside us. "As you can tell, I've other things to do."

"Funny," I joked at his mockery of me.

"I'm kidding- but really, why don't you join in? You're all tense lately, it's like you don't even know how to have fun anymore."

"Don't know how to have fun?" I shot him a dirty look for saying such things. Of course I knew how, I'm a Lost Girl. "Ha- again, you're real funny, Peter."

"I'm serious," And the tone of his voice was quite serious, even the look in his eyes was when he held my gaze. "I know you know how to have fun, but you seem off lately."

My stomach dropped suddenly, because I knew exactly what he was referring to, but I could never tell him why. Sawyer would want me to some day, but right now, in the middle of the Lost Boys playing ghost tag and Wendy running around as well, was definitely not the right time.

"It happens." Was my reply.

After a while of watching the boys and Wendy play ghost tag, and Peter and I chatting mindlessly, everything seemed to be settling down. Unfortunately, it was dark outside, and that meant that there was only little time until I'd have to train Wendy tomorrow. There was no way to get out of it either. Peter would make me do it even if I didn't want to, and if not by just trying to convince me, than by force.

When the boys asked Wendy to tell a story later on that night, I decided that it would be best for me to just go to bed before I started flipping tables at the sound of her 'delicate voice'. Nibs ended up climbing into his hammock above mine as well, and I was secretly appreciative that at least someone was on the same boat as me when it came to Wendy.

Even though she was sitting in the den not too far from our hammocks, her voice was faint, which Nibs and I were both grateful for.

"Hey," Nibs said quietly, peering at me through blue eyes over the side of his hammock, "Birdie?"

"What is it?"

He stared at me for a second, as if he were hesitant, and I watched him in curiosity. Nibs always understood when it came to problems, and I strived to be the same way for him. His youthful demeanor was sometimes overshadowed by his caring nature, even though he only looked to be fourteen, two years younger than I.

"Well," He sighed, sliding the brown band that had been holding his hair back down to hang around the nape of his neck. "Some of the braves invited me to go back to their Indian camp tomorrow, you know, for training and stuff…"

"Okay," I shrugged, "And?"

"Would you want to come with me?"

"Why do you need me to come?" I questioned.

Nibs looked around nervously, and my frustration in not understanding what was going on was slowly rising. "Just, because, they wanted me to bring someone."

"Nibs, what the hell is going on?"

"Okay," He sighed, lowering his voice. "There's this girl at the camp, her name is Naira, and I need you to come with me."

"You still have yet to tell me why." I replied, rolling my eyes at him.

"Because I need your help talking to her, like, I like her. I don't know? What do you call those fuzzy feelings whenever you see someone?"

His naivety almost warmed my heart, _almost_, but the sound of Nibs liking someone made my stomach churn in odd ways. He didn't know anything about girls, the poor boy. When he'd first arrived at Neverland, I'd already been here; he looked at me like I'd had ten heads. He'd told me that Peter never mentioned anything about a girl being here, and it took him quite some time to figure out how to get along with me. He told me that he just didn't understand girls.

With a sigh, I said, "Fine, Nibs. But I have to train Wendy, remember?"

A smile lit up Nibs' face, one that made me grin as well, "Thanks, Birdie, you're the best, and I know. How could I forget? I feel bad for you, really. Anyways, we can meet at the entrance to the Indian camp at noon. Is that alright?"

"Yes," I laughed. "That's fine."

Nibs gave me one last true smile before he slipped his brown band back up to his head, "Goodnight, B."

"Goodnight, Nibs."

He'd fallen asleep soon after our little conversation, but my ears were perked in the direction of Wendy's story about Cinderella. The urge to listen was pulling at me, but as soon as I heard about Prince Charming, I flipped over on my side so that my back was facing the group. _Love,_ I thought. _How stupid. _My mind drifted off sometime afterwards.

That next morning after I'd gotten up quite early, with Wendy already at the kitchen table eating, I loaded my bow and satchel of arrows onto my back. I could already tell this was going to be horrible, just by the way that she was so perky as soon as I'd entered the room. She'd given me a Cantana, which was like a coconut with the inside of a banana, which was nice, but there was no way that I could change my opinion on her as of now. She just didn't feel _right_.

I'd helped her get Peter's bow and satchel of arrows without waking the boy, and we set off in the direction of the clearing. It was quiet for the most part, which I'm usually quite grateful for anyways, but this silence was awkward. My feet were used to the trails of Neverland and were quiet, but against my own skillful steps, hers were louder than I'd ever heard. Even the random crunching of twigs and leaves just made it that much more awkward for me.

We arrived in the clearing after a short walk from Home Tree, and I pulled her over to the other side of the training field. In front of us was a clever design by Peter; I pushed a notch in the trunk of the tree, and a large bull's-eye appeared with red and blue outer rings. Every time you would hit in the center of the eye, the target would shrink and move to another place on the trunk. It was quite handy and very useful when practicing quick shots.

I stood on a line of grass that I'd marked with a twig, which was not too far from the tree, and took my stance.

"You said you knew a little bit about archery, right?" I glanced at her, eyeing her cautiously, and speaking to her for the first time that morning besides the meager 'thanks' I'd given her earlier for the Cantana.

She shifted her weight nervously, "Yes, I did say that."

"So, you know how to hold the bow, and where to position the arrow?"

"Um," The Wendy Lady stuttered, clutching Peter's hefty bow in between her nimble fingers. She made a meager attempt at trying to position her arrow against the string, "I suppose so."

"No, you don't," I raised my eyebrows at her. "You don't know anything about archery, do you?"

She was silent for a moment, her piercing blue eyes staring at me hesitantly, as if I'd pounce on her at any moment, "No, not really. I just felt as if I couldn't quite fit in with you if I knew nothing at all."

"So," I paused, bringing my arrow back to my side. "You lied to get us to like you better?"

"Yes," She blew out a breath, a stray brown curl of her hair shimmering lightly against the sun.

"Well, when you get back to Home Tree, hopefully you'll know enough to realize that you truly do need those skills when you're in Neverland. It's not all nice, you know."

She gave me a shy nod, and then turned to face the tree with her arrow resting against the string, and her bow positioned at an odd angle. I noticed her suck in a breath, and then release the arrow from her grasp. It landed a few feet below the trunk and she sighed.

"Alright," I began, getting into form once more. "Your bow position was at an extremely odd angle, you need it to be parallel with the angle of your back at all times. For instance, if your back is straight, than the bow must be in align with that." Wendy did as I told her. "Now, position the arrow as you had it, and hold your bow at the full extent of your arm." She outstretched the arm that was holding her bow, and placed the feathered arrow back into position.

The girl gave me a side-glance, "I feel odd standing like this."

"You'll get used to it," I rolled my eyes, but continued. "Now, see through the arrow, and look straight at where you want it to land. It's all about hand-eye coordination and mind technique, alright? Now, release."

Wendy released the arrow from her grasp once again, and the arrow landed on the outer ring of the bulls-eye. She turned to me with a bright smile, and pulled out another arrow as the target shrunk and moved farther up the trunk.

"I don't believe that I'll ever be as good as you," Wendy said at an attempt to flatter me, "But I'll be a little better now."

We continued to practice for a while, her asking for tips every few minutes while I just sat back and watched. She was decent, almost like Slightly was, and by decent I mean that if she shot at a pirate there would've been a 50/50 chance of her striking him at all. At least she could be slightly useful in a fight, _hopefully_.


	3. Chapter 3

**a/n: Hi! New chapter for everyone, enjoy!**

At noon, I'd left the clearing to head to the Indian camp while Wendy left for Peter, of course, that was no surprise to me. She'd been half decent when I'd trained her, not as annoying as I had originally thought that she would be, hopefully I just wouldn't have to train her again. When I arrived at the entrance of the camp, Nibs stood by a fence post, hands crossed over his chest, hair pushed back, and he was bouncing his leg anxiously. As soon as he saw me, he blew a huge sigh of relief and waited for me to approach his eager figure.

"So," I smiled at the boy, "Where's this girl at?"

"She's waiting for me with Tiger Lily in the camp and-"

"Tiger Lily's there?" My face lit up at the sound of my Indian friend. "Thank god, I need a little time with a girl friend. Wendy just doesn't do me any justice."

Nibs gave me a laugh and we entered the camp, strolling past braves and familiar faces all the way to the complete opposite side from the entrance. A tent was painted with red and blue streaks in front of us, making it blatantly obvious that the princess lived in there. But the two of them stood in front of the entrance in conversation. I took in Naira, judging her, but not in the negative way that one would assume.

She was gorgeous, but then again, all of the Indian girls were even if she did not look very native to me. She had short brown hair, a clean creamy complexion with just a hint of rosiness to her cheeks, chestnut brown eyes surrounded by long eyelashes, and two red war streaks painted on each cheek bone. As soon as she noticed Nibs and I arriving, she smiled gently at us, and I faintly wondered why I'd never met her before.

"Nibs," She greeted kindly in cleaner English voice than Tiger Lily's thick accent, "I assume that you're Birdie. Very unique name you have."

"Yes, that's me, and thank you. Naira's quite different and unique as well," I complimented her, because it truly was. "Tiger Lily." I gave her a grin.

She grinned at me as well, "Birdie, I haven't seen you in a while. Where've you been hiding, friend?"

"Everywhere away from my annoying Lost Boys," I nudged Nibs with a smirk.

He pushed me back with a snort, "Yeah right- more like away from Wendy."

"Wendy?" Naira asked with a questionable look.

"Ah," said Tiger Lily. "I've heard some things about her. A Worldling, she is?"

"Yes," I rolled my eyes. "She's quite aggravating, she's got Peter wrapped around her little, disgusting-"

"I see what this must be about." Lily smirked, and I could've sworn I've heard that once already before.

Naira whispered something to Nibs, and they turned to walk in the other direction away from us. I didn't mind though, surely the boy could figure out the odd feelings all on his own. True emotions don't need any help finding themselves from others, that's why we can't read minds.

Lily took my hand suddenly, walking the complete opposite way from where the other two had strolled off, "Finally," the princess sighed. "That girl has become a thorn in my side."

"What's she done?" I wondered aloud as we walked back through the entrance of the camp.

"She's continuously rambling nonsense to me about the strangest things." She shook her head, stepping over a log and into the tree line with me.

"Like?"

"Like how she sees things, visions of some sort when she's asleep, and that she also seems to find my braves quite handsome. Just wait until she meets Peter."

I scoffed, my blue eyes flickering darker for just a moment, "Like we need someone else with a relentless crush on him, especially if it boosts his ego even higher than it already is. That would be terrible for everyone."

Lily laughed, "Very true."

We walked skillfully through the trees, unlike Wendy had done with me earlier this morning, over broken twigs and leaves upon the ground in the forest. Like I'd said a while ago, Lily was more like me than anyone else on this island, and I appreciated her for that. It took me a second to realize that we were headed for the hot springs, and I sighed with deep relief.

"So," Lily began curiously. "Who's this Wendy lady- not the annoying one that you described. There must be more to her than what you believe her to be."

A frown lit up my features at the thought of her, "Everyone thinks that she's so bloody great just because she tells stories and she's pretty. Worldling's, always visiting in their dreams but never staying over night, it seems that Peter's made an exception for her. I personally do not like her at all. She's bad news if you ask me."

"Why?" Lily asked. "Because she steals Peter's attention away?"

"Exactly."

"I'll take your word for it, Birdie," said Tiger Lily, "Unless I find out otherwise. But when would you ever lead me wrong?"

"Absolutely never."

We entered into the clearing finally, and I was extremely happy to see the hot springs for bathing just ahead of us. The water was surround by large rocks that were scattered around the outer edge of the spring, and the trees beside them seemed to give the pool of water a cover of canopy leaves from above. Lily reached into her leather bag and pulled out two bottles filled with a lavender colored liquid inside.

"Shampoo and conditioner; I knew you'd want a bath." She told me, leading me over to the spring, "Why else would you come at noon?"

"Because," I replied, stepping behind a rock and I began to undress. "Nibs told me that he'd met Naira and that he felt 'fuzzy' when he saw her. Damn that boy, always dragging me places just because he's adorable."

"Do you feel fuzzy when you see Nibs?"

My eyes shot up to her, and I noticed the humorous gaze in her chestnut ones. I threw my dirty leggings at her and hopped into the spring, dunking under the water to wet my hair. When I arose again, I squirted the liquid from the shampoo bottle into my hand, and the sweet smell of wild flowers drifted into my nose.

"I could never feel fuzzy when I see that boy," I rubbed the shampoo through my hair, staring at Lily who stood behind the boulder laughing. "He doesn't even know what these 'fuzzy feelings' are."

"He won't feel them for long with that girl."

"How'd she get here anyway?" I asked, dunking under again to rinse my hair out.

Lily sighed, staring off into the distance in thought, "She told me that she washed ashore, had no clue where she was, and that my braves brought her to camp. I'm not quite sure about that though, my braves don't just bring _anyone_ into camp like so."

I squirted the conditioner into my hair, "What if she works for Hook? I haven't seen that damned bastard in a while, who knows what he's planning."

Lily began to brush my dirty clothes off in an attempt to clean them, but it seamed that the stains of grass were permanently a part of my hunter green flannel. "I considered that," She replied. "But she's very weak to be a pirate."

I dunked under to rinse my hair out again, relishing the feeling of the clean water sinking into my pours. It wasn't very often that I got time away from the Home Tree to bathe, mostly because the boys didn't really believe in baths every day. Their excuse was that they'd just get dirty again within the next few hours, so I preferred to let them have their way. Fighting with them to get them into a pool to bathe was not very fun.

"Birdie?" Lily questioned as I waded around lazily in the spring.

"Yes?"

"Why is it that you don't like when Wendy is with Peter?"

My blank expression faltered at her sudden change of subject, but I replied easily, "It just bothers me."

"Do you 'feel fuzzy' when you see Peter?" She smirked knowingly.

I stopped wading around with a small sigh; of course she'd realize something. She always seemed to know things like that, nothing ever slipped by her. "Unfortunately," I spoke. "I do."

"That's not unfortunate," Lily replied, leaning against the rock with a grin. "I approve."

"Except he would never return such feelings for me."

But it was true, how would he ever when he had Wendy? Was I really making it so obvious that I liked the boy? Or was everyone just learning to figure me out? I squeezed the excess water from my wavy cascade of hair out, and swam over to lean on the ledge of the hot spring.

"Do not say that, how would you even know? You can't assume such things. What does this Wendy girl have that you don't?"

"Everything." Was my reply, only because deep down I truly believed it, and the sudden familiarity of sadness struck at my heart.

"Birdie," Lily shook her head and knelt down to hand my clothes over to me. "Sometimes you're too hard on yourself."

"Well," I shrugged and pulled myself up onto the smooth grass. "If I were too easy on myself than I wouldn't be Birdie, would I?"

Lily smiled at me, "Clever and very true."

After some time of mindless chatting with my friend and sitting in the heat of the sun, I figured that I was finally dry enough. Being around Lily was easy; she always knew how to keep me interested and active in conversations if she felt that I was shutting down. Somehow my mood changes managed to do strange things like that to me, but she understood a lot more than I did about it. I never questioned her, for who would question someone such as Tiger Lily?

I eventually got dressed, pulling on my leggings, hunter green flannel, and torn up pair of combat boots. They were as clean as they'd been in quite some time but the stains were still very noticeable. As I wrapped the belt that held my small dagger around my waste and strapped my bow and satchel of arrows to my back, Lily brushed her fingers through her jet black her in an attempt to smooth it out. But it was already smooth; it looked impeccably clean and soft. I braided my hair quickly to the side and we decided to make our way back to camp.

When we arrived back at the camp after a short trek through the dense forest, we noticed that Naira and Nibs were throwing rocks into a ring of leaves, a small game that the Indians had created long ago. Lily and I walked over to them, only a little hesitant because the princess didn't want to be around Naira more than what was absolutely necessary. It almost reminded me of Wendy and I's situation.

"Hey, Birdie!" Nibs said as he threw a rock into the ring successfully.

"Nibs, Naira," I greeted them, folding my arms over my chest. "It's nearly sunset, we've got to go back to Home Tree."

Nibs groaned and turned to face me, a pile of rocks held within his hands, "I don't want to go back right now, can't we stay just a little longer?"

"No, you blockhead, we've got to go now and you know that. It's a long trek home, it'll already be dark before we get back to base and I really don't want to travel through the forest at night, alright?"

"Fine," He replied with a frown, "Give me a second."

Nibs walked over to Naira, most likely explaining to her that we had to go, and gave her a soft hug. My stomach dropped at the sight and I silently wished that I could experience such a tender hug like that, but no one in Neverland ever seemed to share the same feelings with me. Especially Peter. Lily also gave me a quick hug though, explaining that 'we had to come to the party in two days' that their tribe was hosting. Of course, Nibs and I agreed before we headed off back into the tree line.

We walked in comfortable silence for the majority of the time; we were both exhausted from spending so much time with the Indians. Somehow they always managed to do that to you.

"What happened with Naira? Do you still like her?" I questioned, breaking the comfortable silence as we turned down the last stretch of the trail towards Home Tree.

"I think so," Nibs replied in an unsure tone. "But she's real strange, always talking about weird things."

"Like what?"

"Like how she almost drowned one time from the mermaids when she'd washed ashore and _saw_ me while she was unconscious, like she dreamed of me or something. But I'd never met her before today, so how would that even be possible? It's real weird, Birdie, I don't know what to think."

"Who says something like that?" I laughed loudly at the thought of it, because surely that could be awkward.

"Her!" He exclaimed. "I can't tell if I still like her, what do I do?"

It took me a moment to think of a suitable response to his question, considering that somehow the answer could apply to my situation as well.

"Well," I said as Home Tree came into view. "Don't think too much about it, Nibs, you'd know in your gut if you really liked her. Things like that don't give you mixed signals, you know? You can just kind of tell if they're real, and you'll now when you feel it."

He stayed silent after that, not speaking a word in response and I knew that he was considering what I'd said. But it was true, you don't mistake feelings like that, for they are unmistakable when it really came down to the extent of infatuation or love. I didn't even know what they were like until it had hit me like a train one day, knocking the wind from my lungs unexpectedly. All Peter had done was charm me just like he did with everyone else, but it had a particularly strange affect on me. Those feelings aren't the ones that you can just 'get rid of' though, that's not how it works. I'm not even sure if I would do that if I could.

We entered Home Tree as the moon approached the middle of the sky as a signal of midnight. It was quiet at first, and I then noticed that everyone was already asleep. The candles that had once alit the room were blown out, and the soft snores of Cubby could be heard echoing around the home. Nibs and I got into our hammocks comfortably, winded from the day with Naira and Tiger Lily. We said small 'goodnights' to each other before we could both drift off into sleep, something that gave me a little escape from the reality at hand for a while.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hello all, I'm back with a new chapter. I hope you like it! Enjoy and feel free to let me know what you think of it.**

That next morning we sat around the table, talking easily amongst each other when Tinker Bell floated into the room. I raised my eyebrows; where the hell had she been all this time anyways? I don't think I've seen her in a few days.

She landed on Peter's shoulder, though looked to be quite anxious from the sporadic motions of her wings. They flapped frantically against her back and I silently wondered what was going on; for her to be amiss for several days at a time was unlike her. She only got to meet Wendy once, and even then she wasn't focused or had any intent on staying to pull her hair or chime nasty things about her into my ear.

Peter listened with raised eyebrows and I watched them wearily. It was easy to tell that Wendy was trying to the best of her ability to make it seem like she wasn't interested, but even I could tell that she was attempting to eavesdrop. For once, I didn't blame her; I'd probably be doing the same if I were sitting close to Peter and Tink.

Eventually he gave his pixie one last strange look before she shot off again, all the way out of Home Tree and into the sky, leaving a faint trail of dust behind her. It took everything in me not to chase after her from sheer curiosity.

Peter cleared his throat to catch our attention and gazed at us with an odd look, barely glancing over my eyes before he continued, "Lads," He said curtly, "I've received news from Tink that the Jolly Rodger 's been spotted on the horizon-"

"What?" I gasped and the horrid memories of my last experience with Hook flashed through my mind like scrapbook pages.

Peter held his hand up, "Let me finish; Tink doesn't know for sure what it's doing there or why but I sent her off to find out. There's no way that Hook made it out alive after we fed him to the sharks, and if you remember correctly, we watched those fish swallow him whole."

A variety of a chorus of explanations sounded from around the table:

"Who do ya' think is the Cap'n!"

"More pirates to mess with!"

"Treasure!"

"Peter, we finally can have more games!"

"This is bloody insane!" I interrupted the boys' excitement with my own underlying worry, because surely this had to be some mistake. "You boys are excited to see Pirates? What is wrong with you! Do you even realize the kind of danger that puts us in? In case you all failed to remember, the last time we went after those damn gits they almost _killed_ me."

The silence around me resumed to create an awkward tension, almost as if they were internally refusing to think about the past. It was a while ago of course, but it was still detrimental in several different ways, especially to myself.

Hook had captured Grip and Slip in an attempt to lure Peter in to finish him once and for all, but unfortunately for Hook, that plan had been used many times before and we were expecting that at least. They sent me in first at an attempt to divert the attention away from Peter. The plan was for me to distract Hook in a small sword fight that would weaken him just a tad, and it was all going great at first, but then he gained the upper hand. As we continued battling, I tripped over my own heel and crashed into the upper deck stairs where Hook continued to swing at me repeatedly. He ended up pinning me to the floorboards, which had definitely not been any part of our original plans, and put a 'dent' in our 'schedule'.

He had used his hook to keep me trapped on the floor and had used his cutlass to slash me up quite horribly along my midline when I couldn't manage to block the blows with my own dagger. As soon as Peter had rescued the twins and came for me, the amount of blood that I'd lost had resulted in me losing consciousness quick. I don't remember anything after that, only waking up in the Pixie territory wrapped in bandages. The boys refused to tell me anything other than that they finally got rid of Hook.

"I can assure you that nothing will happen again, okay Birdie? I'm never sending you in to fight anyone like that alone without someone by your side." Peter replied calmly but the tint of anxiety was present in his green eyes.

Wendy looked hesitant to intervene, "I've heard quite a few stories about the Captain, and I personally don't believe that he's alive nor is anyone capable of leading a crew like that in Neverland again without Peter knowing."

"I didn't ask, Wendy," I retorted, narrowing my eyes at her only because she truly did not know the extent of danger that we could be in. Or maybe it was my paranoia kicking in. "You've been here for a very short amount of time and I know that you personally have never met the Jolly Rodger crew, alright? They're not your silly little pirates that you daydream about. They're real people, dangerous as hell, and definitely not a group to be reckoned with."

The tension of the silence grew more intense and Wendy seemed to physically shift away from my hard voice, "I don't mean to pick a fight with you, Birdie, I just think that they don't stand a chance against you all."

"You're damned right they don't." I replied and folded my arms over my chest.

"Anyways," Peter said with a hard glare in my direction as a signal to cut it out. Normally that would never bother me, but my chest sank and I stood up abruptly. "I- what are you doing?"

"Shouldn't matter." I replied and returned his hard glare. With a quick glance at the others, I turned to leave and grabbed my bow on the way out.

As soon as I stepped outside into the warm air, I broke into a run down the trail leading to Mermaid Lagoon. I didn't mean to cause a scene but the thought of Hook's crew returning and seeking vengeance only hit me with true fear, and usually I was never too afraid of them. Like I'd told Wendy, they weren't to be reckoned with, but I could easily bring down two or three of them without them getting a hit on me in return.

I ran for a few minutes before the familiar sound of crunching sand beneath my ripped up combat boots was audible. The Lagoon was sparkling turquoise against the soft blue sky, and the familiar group of mermaids hung excitedly around a large rock that popped up halfway above the water. If there were anyone to confide in, it'd be Aura, the head mermaid.

As soon as she turned to face me, her lavender eyes lit up into a smile and her fiery red hair looked to change to an even brighter shade.

"Birdie!" She smiled at me and beckoned me over.

I made my way towards her and hopped onto the first rock that lead into the middle of the Lagoon, skipping my way over them all until I came to the large boulder. I sat crisscross on top of it, setting my intricately carved bow beside me, and greeted them all kindly.

Besides Aura, Leslie, an annoyingly cheerful mermaid waded lazily beside her, the same grin ever present among her lips. Her white-blonde hair contrasted perfectly against her turquoise eyes and tanned skin. She was gorgeous, an eye-catcher to any passerby but an aggravation if you hung around her for too long. The third was Anya, who had an odd pale skin color, long black hair, and green eyes, but she was also beautiful. They all were compared to anyone else on this island.

"Sorry for coming so suddenly," I panted as an aftermath from my long run and gave them a weak smile. "I just needed to get away."

"Why?" Aura asked.

"What happened?" Leslie questioned as well.

"Well, Tink flew in this morning and told Peter that she saw the Jolly Rodger on the horizon. Do you have any news about that?"

The three of them exchanged suspiciously weary looks with each other, and Aura gave me a soft glance, "Yes."

"And?" I pressed.

"We just know that it's out there but we're not quite sure why either."

"Please don't lie," I sighed when I noticed that Anya had turned away from me to face the opposite direction. "You know how I feel about that damned ship."

Aura also seemed to glance away from my eyes, "We know, and we wouldn't lie if it came to them."

"Oh- Aura!" Leslie sighed at her and turned to face her as if she were about to implode at any moment. "Please stop hiding things from the poor girl, she's got enough on her plate with that Wendy Lady."

I groaned at the sound of her name, "I'm not even going to ask how you know about her- just don't speak of her, please, I left to get away from them all for now."

"Sorry!"

"Now, what do you all know?" I crossed my arms over my chest and raised my eyebrows at the trio.

"Well-" Aura started but was interrupted from Leslie's eager tone.

"Birdie, I know you're going to hate this, but my good friend told me that she saw a new girl on their ship! She didn't see Hook, but she said that girl looked too young to be a captain or a pirate."

My mind immediately sifted through anyone that it could be and my suspicion increased ever so slightly, but it felt as though I was already too worried and anxious to feel anything else. I twisted my hair around my finger at a weak attempt to calm myself down, "A new girl? Did she say what she looked like?"

"I don't know-"

Anya, one who seemed to be quieter than the others today, finally spoke without holding my curious gaze for more than a mere second, "Short brown hair was all that she said she saw, but that could've been anyone."

"Short brown hair," I mumbled to myself and continued to let my mind reel. It searched everywhere; from Cannibal Cove to Pixie Hollow to Wendy to the Indian camp, and then I froze. "Naira?"

"Who?" Leslie frowned.

"This new girl at the Indian camp that said she washed ashore and had no recollection of how she got here. She's been hanging out with Nibs lately, I met her the other day."

Aura gave me a weary look and leaned her arms against the rock, "I know that Neverland makes people forget but not like that, Birdie, _never _like that. You don't immediately forget who you are and where you came from. She must be lying. That wench!"

Secretly, I agreed with Aura but I knew that she was just saying that because mermaids seemed to have no realization of what was right or wrong to say about a person. They just seemed to continuously gossip without a second thought about it.

As the sun reached past the midline in the sky, I talked with the mermaids and tried to come up with a solution to the new problem of the Jolly Rodger. It seemed as if the Boys and I had only just gotten rid of it and it wanted to come back for more. Except this time, nothing would be the same if they had someone new in charge that we knew nothing about. I needed every resource and anyone that could possibly find out anything about the ship to help me, and Aura agreed to let her friends know so that they could head out to find more news tonight.

We planned several careful tactics for them to eavesdrop without getting caught and hurt. It seemed as though Leslie held us up with her continuous distractions; like how she'd began untying my boots in the middle of our plans, but I let it slide casually. It didn't bother me compared to anything else that seemed to be going on lately. From the Wendy Lady to the Jolly Rodger to my growing hole of depression because the realization of Peter never feeling the same way hitting me; it all seemed like too much for the span of two weeks. Never had I felt so stressed or worried since I'd come to Neverland, and I'd been here for quite some time.

When it began to break dusk, I headed back to Home Tree after saying goodbye to my good friends. The only thing we'd come up with was to send out others to camp near Hook's old cabin window for the night in case someone new had decided to reside there in his place.

My mind drifted to Naira as I stepped lazily through the trail, and how she could possibly be a useful asset to the Jolly Rodger. But how? She was terribly scrawny looking which me think that she couldn't even hold a dagger without breaking her wrist- almost like Wendy made it seem. A frown spread across my lips at the thought of her back at Home Tree, and my curious mind quickly transformed to one of slight aggravation already.

When I'd arrived and made my descent into the underground home, the faint smell of meat hit my nose and the chatter of the Boys sounded. They were incredibly loud compared to the peaceful nature of how the mermaids had been today. As I stepped down the last stair, the den came into view and I noticed the Boys had gathered in a circle around each other to wrestle. Typical though, and it didn't surprise me as much as it should've when Sawyer shoved Slip backwards to crash into the fireplace. Wendy stood in the kitchen cooking something that had begun to steam up the entire area, and I rolled my eyes at that.

I searched for Peter and noticed the inviting sight of his makeshift bearskin door that lead to his room, and I headed to it. Hopefully he wouldn't be too busy or annoyed today. The boys gave me a light 'hi' as I passed them, but nothing too extravagant of a greeting given their game of wrestling was going on.

With a soft kick to the bearskin flap, I entered his room and took in the familiar sight of his simple area. The plush bed in the corner of the room, the small wooden beside table, the oak dresser, and a small hammock where his pan flute resided. Peter stood straight, facing the wall in front of him with a paper in his hands. I tried to see what it was while I approached him but he shoved it in the back pocket of his knee-long khaki trousers and faced me, his eyebrow raised in question.

"What's that?" I asked, my curiosity getting the better of me.

"Nothing," He replied instantly. "Why?"

"It sure doesn't seem like nothing if you're so keen on hiding it from me, and besides, I've got news from the mermaids."

Peter sat on his bed suddenly, running a hand through his floppy hair and motioned for me to sit beside him, in which I obliged easily. Given our current circumstances, I made an extremely weak attempt to ignore the strange feelings in my stomach from the close proximity of our sides touching, but I found it to become harder as time progressed.

"What did they say?" He asked, reaching to bring the folded paper out from his back pocket.

"They said that they don't think Hook is back but they saw a girl on deck not too long ago. She had short brown hair; it could've been Naira- that new Indian girl. I told them to send a group off tonight to see if they could find anything else out about it."

Peter unraveled the note and gave me a slight nod, "I met her today when Tink told me to go get this from the Chief, she seemed all right but when I asked, she said that she didn't even remember how she got here. It's not possible to not remember _anything_ at all." He smoothed out the crinkled paper and held it out for me to see. As I grabbed it from him, our hands brushed and the sudden contact caused me to clear my throat awkwardly, but he only shot me an amused look in return.

It was a map, full of color and detailed descriptions of every location on Neverland. Each place was color coded and intricately designed with small doodles beside the neat penmanship. It was old, obviously, and seemed to have come from somewhere out in the water as the familiar smell of sea salt and smoke drifted into my nose. I ran a finger over it, eyeing each detail carefully just to create a mental image of it in case I ever needed it some time in the future. The only place that was missing was Home Tree, which brought me great relief.

"It's a map," I replied bluntly and turned to hand it back to him. "But what is it supposed to mean? Am I missing something?"

"Birdie," He smirked and motioned to the paper, "Obviously someone new is here that wants to keep track of every place and every little thing. They've apparently explored every place on this island besides our hideout and are after _something_ if they've made this much note of everything here."

"How would you even know if they were hunting anything, Peter, maybe they just needed a map, so you know- they wouldn't get lost?" I rolled my eyes at him, but we both knew that I was trying to prolong the existence of the blatant truth before me.

"Oh, come on," Peter said and nudged me, the same smug grin present on his face, "People don't get lost in Neverland and this is priceless! Someone's not going to be very pleased when they find out that this _treasure_ is gone. We've got something on them, Birdie, maybe this could lead us to find out what's going on somehow."

And as Peter continued to tell me all of the reasons to why this map could be extremely useful for us, I noticed the faint smudge of black ink in the farthest point of the bottom left corner. Oddly enough, it looked like initials.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hi guys! Here is a new chapter for you all. Also, thanks for the review. I took your advice and have fixed up future chapters and have also revised this one a tad as well! I've already gotten several other rough drafts of chapters written. Anyways, enjoy!**

"Peter," I said, interrupting his continuous rant of nonsense that I had no intention of paying attention to.

"Oh- what?" He asked, raising his eyebrows but never completely turning to me, his emerald eyes were still attached to the paper. His fingers grazed gently over the map.

I pointed to the messy penmanship scrawled in the far left corner and nudged his arm, "That's a signature, you idiot, how did you not see that?"

"I did- I just, I forgot to tell you." Peter replied bluntly, completely ignoring the fact that he actually didn't know. But I wasn't surprised that Peter would do that, he didn't exactly like to be corrected. "I can't read it, it looks like someone tried to smudge it out."

I peered at it and tried to reach over him to smooth the paper out even more, but I noticed that it really did seem as if someone had tried to scratch it out. I could faintly see the last initial of an 'H' that hadn't been smudged out very well, but the first letter was barely visible, "Well that's an 'H'…" I mumbled, eying the paper.

He brought it about an inch away from his eye and I laughed lightly, causing him to raise his lips into an amused smirk, "Don't laugh," He said, and continued to scan his eyes over the page but finally gave up after a few moments, "I don't know. It could be anything, Birdie."

"Shit," I muttered and ran my hands down my face, "Well, I don't think it's all that important anyways. Why would a map be so important?"

"Are you kidding? Just look at the thing." Peter said, a petulant grin on his face.

Sure, it was color-coded and the intricacy of the designs was amazing, but it was a _map_, and Peter tends to blow things 'out of the water' just for the excitement of it. The map was absolutely gorgeous but the only way that it would mean something was if it were Naira's, and for now, we've absolutely no proof that it's hers.

"I'm not that worried about it," I replied and stood up, brushing my white long sleeved shirt down that had risen up to show my pants line. "Until we can find out exactly whose it is then I don't think it's that useful."

Peter blew out a breath and shoved the paper into his back pocket before standing up as well, "Maybe I can get Tink or one of the other Fairy's to try and figure out what it says."

"Yeah, you can try, but that thing looks done for."

"Don't be so negative Birdie," Peter laughed as we walked out of his quaint room and through the bearskin flap. "You act like once something is broken it can't be fixed."

I paused and furrowed my eyebrows, letting him walk ahead of me only because that statement sounded strangely familiar. It almost reminded me of my current situation, but at the moment, I wasn't even sure how it could. Everything about the past two weeks had become such a confusing mess to me that I didn't even have the effort left to try and figure it out.

And even though I'd said I didn't think the map was important, and neither was Naira, the thought of both things was eating me alive. Everything seemed to have me near a tipping point now. I was like a boiling pot of water, scorching those in defense of whoever seemed too close for comfort, including my wandering mind.

Peter continued walking into the steamed up atmosphere of the kitchen, his eye caught sight of Wendy and he walked up behind her. Through the faint smog, I saw him throw a light arm around her petite shoulders and he whispered something into her ear. My curiosity peeked, but I didn't want to _impose_ on their quality time, even though there had been plenty of it. If anything, I needed quality time with Peter, but how would I even ask for that? Maybe Aura or Lily could help me out…

No.

None of that; the Jolly Rodger is out there for some reason and besides Peter, there's other things that are distracting me. Everything was. I huffed as I gave the pair one last look and turned to the group of boys on the opposite side of the den, whom were all hanging out on the leather couches in front of a small crackling fire built into the wall. The smoke churned through a small hole that had been dug out above it that would lead the smoke into the air outside.

With a small feeling of discomfort and a sigh, I spotted Sawyer and Slightly on one of the couches that leaned against a back wall. I moved towards them, pushing through boys who only gave me half-assed greetings, and sat beside Sawyer.

For a few moments I sat quietly, a state of serendipity that never seemed to happen often washed over me. Usually I was distracted by the plethora of wrestling or chatting boys, but it was peaceful right now. And I found that the more I sat here, the more my morose lightened and I found myself floating away from the troubles that had embedded themselves into the hanging threads of my mind.

But that was broken as soon as Sawyer nudged my arm, his infamous grin plastered onto his face.

"What, Sawyer?" I groaned and pulled my knees to my chest, leaning into his side just a little bit. But it was never considered anything more than just a brotherly-sisterly relationship; well, at least for me that was how it was.

"Why're you acting so strange lately?"

"I don't know," I groaned. "Why's it matter anyways?"

"Because I don't need you getting all upset on us." Sawyer nudged me again.

"I'm not upset, okay? Leave it."

"Then what is it," He asked, completely ignoring my request. "Is it about Wendy again?"

The sudden change of direction in this conversation gave me a modicum of discomfort, and though he was my confidant, I didn't like where this was going all of a sudden.

"No."

"About Peter then?" He continued to press.

"No, Sawyer."

"The Jolly Rodger? Why can't you just tell me? Why's it so hard to, you know, talk about your feelings?" Sawyer questioned with the exasperated tone in his voice that I knew all too well. For some reason I was just a little taken aback that he was so curious, but that was how Sawyer was.

"If I wanted to talk about my damned feelings then I would have started that a long time ago, okay? How come _you_ can't just leave it be? Why do you always have to be so persistent and know everything?" I asked defensively.

Sawyer leaned back into the couch with a faint hint of a grin still on his lips, for it never seemed to leave completely. Slightly sat beside him but it was easy to tell that he was just as interested in the conversation as Sawyer was as he watched from the corner of his eye. "Because I often find that when you don't share your feelings, you run away from them instead."

"Well," I shrugged, "I haven't run away yet, so obviously there's nothing that I need to share."

But that was a lie, it usually was. I seemed to be hiding my feelings more and more ever since Wendy had arrived and came in between the strong friendship that Peter and I shared. The truth was, I was just so aggravated and stressed that I couldn't think straight.

"I know you're lying," He whispered to me over the crackling of the fireplace and the chatting of the boys. "Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?"

I paused, considering the question just because I knew that I could trust Sawyer with my life, "Fine."

As soon as the words had escaped my lips, Sawyer had yanked me up and ran up the stairs and out of the hideout. I was going to ask what the rush was but the lack of air as we continued to run through the trees was hitting me. Leaves slapped at my face from our fast pace, and I fumbled over pebbles and twigs before I could even try to regain my balance. The whiz of greenery that flew past me could not even be distinguished between trees or bushes from our speed, and I wondered how he could even run this fast. His tight grip on my wrist was the only motivation for me to keep up.

He was always eager to know what I had to say, and I found that he was the only one that seemed to feel that way out of all of the boys.

We slowed to a walk, which I was thankful for, and pushed through the last few green bushes before we came to the small pond that Sawyer and I usually hung out around. It was incredibly clear compared to any other source of water here, the few neon colored fish that swum around in it were extremely noticeable compared to the soft brown of the dirt underneath it. It wasn't too big, but was large enough to fit the Lost Boys and I all together. It was just a small clearing surrounded by trees that seemed to scrape the clouds, that is, when the clouds were even out. But it held enough privacy for me, more than any other place I seemed to know. The forest was dense here, thicker than around other clearings. When peering into the pond, it looked as if there were two skies instead of just the one above us. It was absolutely amazing.

Sawyer dragged me to the edge of the pond and sat me on the broken log that we often used as a bench. The water threatened to lick the soles of my boots, but it never reached close enough for that.

He didn't say much at first and observed the fish swimming around lazily, but he finally turned to me with a sigh.

"What's the big deal," He pressed, curiosity twitching his eyebrow into a furrow. "What's going on?"

"Things." I mumbled.

Even if the thought of spilling my troubles to Sawyer was tempting, I found it to be incredibly difficult. Just the thought of it made me want to run away, to possibly get lost in the pernicious forest of the night that seemed abundant with creatures that could sweep me up. But Sawyer was known for being inveterate, never leaving the situation alone even when I'd asked. It seemed as if he'd follow me to every edge of this island just to get a peek into my mind.

Maybe he would.

"Come on," He whispered, his chestnut eyes gleaming like they were a set of stars reflecting against the sky. A myriad of emotion ran through them, and he looked to be restraining himself from something. The way his arms tensed gave it away. "Why can't you just tell me? You know I'd never say anything to anyone."

I searched his eyes for a moment, as if reaching for any sight of a calamitous ending to what would happen if I told him. But his features held sincerity, and it even seemed as if the freckles that sprinkled across his nose were accepting of me. "It's just," I began, unsure of how to start. "It's hard to tell you these things. I feel like I'll regret everything if I do."

"And why do you feel like that?"

I sighed, ripping my gaze away from him and looking back towards the pond. The neon fish seemed to catch my falling attention, "Because I don't do this type of thing often, you know that."

"Maybe if you started to, you would feel a lot better."

And it made sense, it really did. But I was struggling to knock down the defensive walls I had built up for situations like this.

"I know." Was my reply.

Sawyer peered at me, his gaze never leaving the side of my face, and I wondered if his searching eyes were admiring or ruminative. He scooted closer to me and the side of his thigh pressed gently against mine. With a deep sigh, he threw his arm around my shoulders and pressed my body closer to his. But I didn't mind. It was comforting for once, to have someone so touchy with me simply because they cared.

"Well then tell me, Birdie, you really need to tell someone. Can that someone please be me? We share everything with each other." He said; his other hand ran through his soft brown hair.

"I don't know where to start," I said and fumbled with my fingers.

"Is it about-"

"It's about everything," I admitted before he could begin to assume things like he had a tendency to do. "_Everything_, Sawyer, absolutely _everything_. I came to Neverland because I wanted to get away from things that were stressful, the feeling of being lost, and I wanted an escape from it all. But it seems like everything that I'd run from is returning to me, like it's catching up or something," My voice faltered, and my sclerotic face that I'd used as common defense was deteriorating into a tremulous one.

"Everything was fine before Wendy came, you know? And I hate that she's ruined my entire mood just with her company. I can't do it, Sawyer, I really can't. I feel like the thought of Peter and Wendy together, the Jolly Rodger returning, and Naira, is just ripping me into shreds. I can't even begin to fathom what's going to happen in a few days, or a few weeks, or a few years- but it all feels so close even though it shouldn't make me scared at all. Why am I so frightened? I don't-"

"Birdie," Sawyer said softly, interrupting the rambling that seemed to disguise the feeling of my throat clamping shut, and the rebarbative feeling of tears pressing against my eyes. "Calm down, you sound like you're about to have a panic attack."

"I am! I am, Sawyer! And I don't know why!" I threw my face into my hands, a weak attempt at stopping the persistent tears from falling into my palms. Only a few managed to press through.

"This needs to be fixed," He replied, running a gentle hand up and down my back. "Either you need to tell Peter or you need to try and move on. As for Naira and the Jolly Rodger, I know that you're one of our most skilled fighters here, you always have been. I know that the last time you saw the crew was when you were badly injured, but it's different now. We're in control, Birdie."

"No," I whispered, bringing up my head to face him and shoving his hand off of my back. "It's too much, it's not supposed to be like this."

"Birdie-"

"Sawyer," I whispered, searching his eyes for anything, just for something, because I felt like I was going to collapse underneath the weight of anxiety. "Why can't I handle this?"

And as much as I needed an answer desperately, he looked as confused and emotional as I felt. He was feeding off of me, and I didn't want that. "I don't know."

"This was a bad decision," I decided, glancing towards the tree line for an easy escape. "I'm leaving."

I stood up from the log, barely noticing Sawyer attempting to reach out for my wrist but I jumped backwards. "Don't run," He whispered, a frown reaching his features, "You don't always need to run."

"But I don't like the feeling of being chased." I frowned back at him.

"By what?" He asked, throwing his hands into the air from sheer confusion. "By what, Birdie?"

"Myself."

I gave him one last dismal glance, and I turned to run into the forest before he could stop me.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Back with another update. It took forever but finally I've gotten around to it!**

I'd been sitting for several grueling hours, perched on a sky scraping oak tree that I'd seemingly gotten myself stuck on. But at the moment, getting down was not what I was worried about. I was more worried that I'd have to face Sawyer, or even worse, Peter. Surely Sawyer would've said something to Peter about my will to run from my problems again. And though my hard disposition had in fact faltered in front of my friend, I was slowly trying to patch the pieces back together so that they could never come undone again. Not in front of _anyone_.

And when I peered below me from one of the highest, thickest branches, the ground was a pale blur of green from the foggy atmosphere of dawn. I hadn't slept, I hadn't even attempted to. It was too much work to even try and shut my bilious brain down so my anxiety could settle, let alone sleep, which was a speck in the distance that was miles away. It felt too far out of reach to even begin to fathom grasping right now.

Though I knew someone would try to pry me from this tree branch soon, and I knew as soon as my feet touched the ground that I'd be back at running from my problems. I'd have to face Naira, and the map, and Wendy, and my feelings for Peter if I was on the ground. So, at least procrastination had agreed to be my friend for the past few hours, so I could catch some kind of break.

The insatiable feeling of loneliness had been building these past few minutes, but I still didn't want to be near anyone. And somehow I feel like I'm going a little bit insane, considering my mind is swerving in all different directions.

Basically, I'm an overall mess. I'm a tornado sweeping up all of these unwanted thoughts and throwing them against the walls of my brain. I felt like I was about to implode and fall to my death, but then again, maybe that wouldn't be as awful as facing the troubles of Neverland. And even though my view was perfect, the sun rising and setting a brazen light on the horizon above the ocean, my mood was anything but.

A soft chime in my ear startled me from my thoughts, and I turned my head to see Tink flittering above my shoulder. Her blonde bun sparkled from the rays of dawn, and her eyes resembled pools of turquoise water. She met my gaze, a look of curiosity stretching through her nimble features at me.

"Hey, Tink," I whispered, turning back to face the horizon, which seemed far more interesting than talking.

"_Birdie_," She greeted, only a hint of her usual sass underneath her casual tone of chimes. "_You know you have to get down now."_

I sighed, my shoulders drooping in worry, "I know, but can't you tell the boys I'm missing in action or something? I'd rather not go back right now."

"_No,"_ said Tink as she perched her herself on my shoulder. _"You know Peter would kill both of us, he sent me out a few minutes ago to find you. He said Sawyer was with you late last night and you ran away."_

Tink was tiny; a fragile looking Pixie yet was the most strong-willed one I'd ever met. And sometimes I believed that others perceived her to be something she was not, which was some impertinent fairy that would rather murder you than befriend you. In some cases it was true, but she could be rather amiable on good days.

A groan escaped my lips, "I don't want to go back." was my meager reply.

Tink frowned, _"Hey, what happened to the Birdie that would strut back to Home Tree instead of waiting for someone to come get her?"_

And she was right, though the insatiable feeling of anxiety was eating me alive, "I know, Tink, but I just feel like there's so much going on."

"_Of course there is,"_ she chimed. _"It's Neverland. When is there not?"_

After several inveterate minutes of Tink's encouraging words that barely had any type of affect on me, somehow she managed to force me down the tree that had comforted me in a time of need. And somehow she managed to keep me strolling at a balanced pace through the foliage of the island, which somehow, had become rather interesting. But only because it was a way to escape the deathbed I felt I were approaching. Stepping over broken logs with the ripped soles of my boots only distracted me enough to rid my mind of the nagging feeling that was yanking at it.

When Home Tree came into view, I paused in my steps and stared at it as a result of my growing nerves. It was rather large, but not nearly as large as the oak tree I'd come across this morning, and the soft rumbling of voices beneath the dirt somehow drifted through the cracked wood into the atmosphere.

"_What is it?"_ Tink asked, a look of impatience outlining her features. _"We don't have all day, you know."_

A soft groan escaped my lips, "I know," I said, letting my eyes scan the tree, "I'm just worried, that's all."

Tink let out a chime of annoyance, a strike of bells that willed me to cover my ears for a moment, and she began tugging my hair in the direction of the tree. I slapped a gentle hand at her in response, only relenting once her petite fingers had released my cascade of hair.

"_Let's go,"_ said Tink, and continued into her hole of the tree.

After a brusque moment of preparation from sheer nervousness, I entered the wooded door in the tree, only glancing around me for a moment before sliding the door back into place. I was beginning to connive a scheme to run away as my feet padded down the dirt stairs, but the echoes that metastasized into the Lost Boy's laughs drew me in further. My stomach churned amiably, and when the den came into view, I noticed them sitting around the kitchen table to my left.

They looked to be fine, rather elated for this early in the morning, though I didn't dare question it and draw attention to myself. I watched them, noticing how Grip and Slip tugged at a baguette that they both wanted, and Sawyer munching silently with Slightly on two Apples. And though I noted Wendy on the far end of the table, I didn't see Peter at all.

"Birdie!" A voice cheered and all went silent.

"Oh hey- it's Birdie!"

"Where ya' been at!"

"Come on eat, Birdie!"

Their voices bounced off of the cliffs in my mind and pulled me closer to the table, though I stopped a few feet in front of it with a bland look. I wasn't anywhere near as amiable as they were; in fact, I was rather intrepid about the whole ordeal and the voices that were not as salient to me as they should've been in the moment.

"Hi," I mumbled, realizing how unlike myself I must've looked and sounded.

They continued to throw words at me, but I gave them little notice besides a small smile and headed towards Peter's bearskin flap, which was taunting me as it swayed gently in the still air. Somehow, Peter's aura in itself seemed to tempt me, which was rather odd considering no one else noticed it like I had.

I pushed it aside, gazing around the room and letting the strong scent of pine needles drift into my nose. It was a comforting smell, one that just seemed like home for me, which was a feeling that I rarely ever get.

"Birdie," He said, and I met his eyes across the room.

Peter sat, a demure look resting against his sharpened features as he rested atop his bed. I gave him a small smile as I stood at the foot of it, shifting awkwardly on my heels. And vaguely, the small urge to turn and run began to scrape at my ankles, though I kicked it off with as much subtle brutality as I could.

"Hi," I replied, blowing out a breath of relief.

He ran a callused hand over the fur of his blanket, green eyes twitching to turn away from my own, "Where've you been at?"

And though his tone was casual, somehow his calm demeanor was off-putting, "Out, in the woods. Why?"

Peter sat up and raised an eyebrow, "Can you give me specifics? We were all worried about you. You know you can't just run off like that and not tell me where you are, that was really a stupid thing-"

"I don't need a lecture," I whispered, because the way he was talking almost sounded as if he were decrying me.

"Maybe you do," He snapped back, swinging an indolent leg over the bed. "Seeing as you think you can run off in the middle of the night."

"Peter," I frowned at him, "I'm not an idiot, and I know how to handle night time in Neverland. I've been here for a hell of a long time in case you've forgotten."

He stood up from the bed, rising a few inches higher then me though it was not as intimidating as he probably would've liked it to be. "I know, but maybe you've forgotten the three separate times you've been kidnapped while wandering around after dark."

I scoffed, my mind clanking from the sickening feeling of nostalgia that hit me, "Look, I was fine, I am fine, and I'm here. That's all you need to fucking know, and I didn't come back here for you to be angry with me."

Peter's casual look faltered into a frown, one that was so striking that it made me tilt the corners of my mouth down as well, "I'm not angry with you," He replied, crossing his arms over his broad chest, "I'm just disappointed that you didn't come back when you know you should've."

"Well, I wasn't exactly in my right mind last night."

Peter moved to stand only a foot in front of me with a raised eyebrow, "What happened with you and Sawyer? Do I need to feed him to the crocs?"

"No," A faint smile tugged at my lips, "You don't. We were just talking and he brought up some touchy subjects."

He nodded briefly before he pulled me into his chest, which I crashed into out of shock. The same superfluous sparks that shot through me just from our legs touching yesterday was bursting into flames in my stomach, though I didn't want to come off as strange to him, so I wrapped my arms around his torso in a snug grasp. He chuckled, his chest vibrating against my cheeks, "Don't ever do that again."

"I won't," I mumbled back, enjoying the feeling of our close proximity, and I shamed myself for acting like such a hormonal teenager. That is, if I can even be called a teenager after all these years.

He pulled away, stepping back and interlocking our eyes in firm stare, "Now that you're back, I want to tell you what happened with the map."

"Um," I replied, "Okay."

"I gave it to Tink to try and figure out if she could find anything else out about it, and she said that it's definitely Naira's." He said.

I shrugged, not really understanding why he was so serious or acting like it was a clandestine matter, when really we must've known it was hers all along. We knew everyone on the island besides her, and she always gave me an uncomfortable feeling anyways, "What's your point?" Though the fact that Nibs had been hanging out with a previous pirate was hitting hard.

"Birdie," he shook his head, "She's lying about everything she's said to us. She was here; she was never thrown to shore and her memory was not wiped clean. She knows where she is and she knows what she's doing. Tink thinks she's scheming something against us and using Nibs as a prop for it." He explained.

But Nibs was smart, and it drove me insane that I'd never figured Naira to be anything rather than just an orphan to the Indians. It was so unfortunate that their relationship must have to end now, considering Naira is working against everything we're doing.

"Wait," I whispered in sudden contemplation, "Do you think Tiger Lily is part of this too? She's always around with Naira."

Peter frowned, "I don't think so, she'd never do that to us."

But she could, and she might if she really had the urge to. And if Naira could coerce her to do so then who knows how much power the girl has, who even knows what's going on anymore. You can't trust anyone, and if no one had realized that before besides me, I'm sure they all would soon once Peter and I tell them.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hi everyone, this was kind of rushed because I'm so behind on schoolwork (online classes), but I did my best to get it uploaded. I'm gonna try to upload on a regular basis, but I'm not actually sure how well that'll work if I'm honest. Anyways, enjoy!**

I've decided that I enjoy the little things, like the way that a piece of meat can steam up the entire hideout with sweet aroma, or the way the sound of Peter's Pan flute caresses every inch of your mind in melodies, and how easy a spark can ignite every flame in my body with just one touch from him. I've decided that these things are much less noticeable than the bigger picture, and I've decided that I like it that way.

The echoes of voices from the Training field drifted into the atmosphere and into my ears as I sat atop a low hanging branch, watching over, but mostly contemplating whether or not to come down after the sun reached high noon and I needed to shield my eyes from it. Yet, even though the sun had a brazen effect against my pale eyes, I was not thinking that it was time for me to climb down.

The way the soft breeze caressed every leaf's vein was my motivation to stay here, a soft crinkling sound that was irreplaceable against anything other. And though Sawyer had waved me down from in front of a charred and crumbling bulls-eye, I was just not ready.

Watching was enough for me, gazing at the complex movements of a dagger that Peter made look so simple, and wondering if Wendy was gazing at him as well. His weapon clashed with Slightly's, a demure look of joy spreading across their faces at such an amiable spar. They were the two best in the group, never failing to show how eloquent they could make any one-handed weapon look against each other. And though I would never be able to fathom their handiness, as said before, watching sufficed.

A sudden whiz of air passed my ear, and I shot backwards against the trunk of the tree in surprise, turning at the last moment to watch an arrow disappear into the green mesh of foliage behind me. My head whipped back towards the field, a frown of annoyance on my face as I met Sawyer's conniving look.

"Really," I called down to him, crossing my arms over my chest. "Was that honestly necessary?"

He flung his bow and quiver over to rest against his arm, and a furtive smirk crossed his features as he stared up at me, "Who said it wasn't an accident?"

"Bugger off," I snapped back as I scooted forward on the branch, swinging an indolent leg over the side to relax once again. "I'm not coming down there, okay?"

"Please," He immediately pleaded, poking out his bottom lip in a frown, "I've got no one to train with! We're the only two who're actually good at archery."

My lips upturned at his conspicuous compliment he'd embedded in his plea, and I raised my eyebrows teasingly, "Oh- but I just trained Wendy not too long ago, Sawyer. She's a real charm at it, you should have fun training with her!"

And I noticed from the farthest corner of my eye Wendy turning her head, a look of curiosity passing through her features as she tuned into our conversation for only a moment.

"Stop it," He hissed, walking closer to the trunk of the tree I sat atop. "Can you just come down please?"

I shook my head, a stern look across my face as he approached the trunk. My gaze shifted downward to his figure, "No, Sawyer, I really don't want to. It's relaxing up here."

"Well," He sighed, strapping his quiver to his back, "Let me come relax with you."

I groaned, enjoying the privacy I'd been receiving and the smell of pine needles that'd been drifting pass me as I sat alone, "Come on, why can't you just leave me alone for now? I've trained, I'm fine, and I would like to sit up here by myself."

Sawyer's soft colored hair glimmered in the rays of sunlight that hit it, making it look a fiery auburn compared to the green of the grass that scraped lightly against his shins over his khaki pants. He met my eyes again through the leaves of the tree, a frown stretching across his mouth, "Fine, but come down soon, okay? Peter might get pissed when he sees you just sitting here and not doing a thing."

I shrugged, watching as he turned on his heel to leave for his target once again. And though Peter had authority over us all, I was not accustomed to falling to his every command. I was not a puppet, and out of all of us, I was the least likely to listen when it came down to rules. I preferred to be alone lately, and it must've become quite noticeable compared to how amiable I was once was with the lot. And perhaps Peter knew that I just wasn't the typical Lost Boy, I was intrepid in cases where I needed to be, and he was not always the despot when it came down to it.

And as he trained, muscles straining within his arms, and a dagger sweeping skillfully towards any challenger, he barely caught my eye. Only for a mere second did my stomach light up, and I decided that it was not healthy to feel this way about such a good friend. And it was most definitely not healthy to let feelings of worry and stress about Neverland grab hold of every one of my senses. I would not succumb to the negative forces that I felt, to the jealousy that must've looked much like Tink's, or to Naira, who caused confusion throughout every soul who wondered about her.

Besides, after Peter and I's talk last night, he'd assured me that there was nothing he couldn't handle, and that the fact that it was Naira's map was not necessarily a problem. And even if he wanted to appease my senses because he sensed my worry, he did do a great job.

After a few more minutes, I decided to climb carefully down the tree, placing my boots on the low branches below my own until I reached the ground. Turning, I walked towards a target near Sawyer, only giving him a meager smile before unstrapping my quiver of arrows and bow. The target was engraved into the tree, red paint from Never Flowers that rounded into a large circle and then into a smaller one inside that signified the middle. His satisfaction that I'd finally come down from the tree was enough to irk me, the smug grin on his face urging me to steady the arrow I'd placed against the firm string of the bow, and I released it with ease. It smacked the middle of the bulls-eye with a thud.

I placed another arrow against the bow, slowly moving into the repetitive motion of loading and releasing before I spoke to Sawyer, "So," I said as I released another feather tipped arrow into the air, "I suppose you know about the situation with Naira."

"Sort of," He replied, letting his arrow hang in his hand as he spoke, "Mostly just that she's been lying to everyone, and I hear Peter's pissed."

I raised my eyebrows, watching him from the corner of my eye. "Oh yeah? From who?"

"Slightly," He said. "Apparently besides you, Peter's been talking to him about it because he's trying to figure all of this out."

I cleared my throat, adjusting my position and replied, "Did he say anything else?"

Sawyer placed his arrow against his bow and released it, waiting as it soared through the air and onto the outer ring of the center, "No."

I shrugged in response, moving into the common rhythm of timing my arrows against my own breaths, breathing in and breathing out until my fingers twitched in anticipation for me to release it. And even though the air escaping my lips was the most prominent noise against all, the loud clangs and chatter of daggers and Lost Boys was background noise, ambiance against an amiable day.

Though it was only minutes until a screech sounded, and we all shot around to face the center of the Training field.

Peter crouched over Wendy, his hand placed against her forearm as he spoke to her in a soft tone. Her face was contorted into pain, and a cowering Slip stood next to Grip as he huddled beside him. With a groan, I moved towards their crouched figures, stepping over the tall grass clumsily. Sawyer trailed beside me, and as we approached Peter and Wendy, I could vaguely hear him speaking words of comfort.

"…he didn't mean it," Peter said to her, a stern tone accumulating as a small amount of blood dripped through his fingers as he held her arm. "He's just an idiot."

Slip fumbled with the tip of his dagger in fear, watching Peter closely to see if there were any intention of pouncing on him, "Sorry, Wendy, you was just so close to me and I didn't see ya' behind me."

Wendy groaned, her brown curls sprawling out like a fan against the ground, "It's quite alright, Slip, I'm just in a bit of pain."

"In a _bit_?" Peter scoffed, snapping his head towards Slip. "You cut her damn arm, and I expect you to fix this, Slip."

Sawyer and I exchanged knowing looks before I stared back down at both Wendy and Peter, who looked quite distressed compared to moments earlier. It was one thing to imagine the two so close, but another to fight off the annoyance that I typically felt whenever I was around the pair.

"I'm sorry, Peter!" Slip exclaimed, rushing to crouch beside him and plead for forgiveness form the both of them.

"Please don't worry," said Wendy, reaching out to pat his hair. "It's fine, we can just get this cleaned up."

She sat up, brushing off Peter's hand with a soft smile, and stood with balance that looked quite shaky. Her hair had tufts of grass poking out of it as it tangled into her cascade of curls, and her dress was slightly shredded where she held her hand over her injury. She gave everyone a modest look and turned to Slip, "Would you mind taking me to go get this cleaned up?"

Slip shook his head, "Of course not, come on, Wendy Lady!"

He grabbed her nimble hands and took off in the direction of the trail back to Home Tree, only giving Peter a smile before disappearing into the tree line with her.

I turned my head back to Peter, who had a look of annoyance stretching across his sharp features. And though everyone looked a little disturbed from his detest, I found it rather amusing that such a scene was caused by Slip.

It was silent in the group, a salient awkwardness striking us, and I let out a snort, one that caused heads to turn in my direction.

Peter raised his eyebrows at me, and even his gaze managed to make me flip internally, "Something funny?"

I smirked, nodding casually, "Yes."

He narrowed his eyes on me, "Training dismissed," He said, and waited as the others scurried to gather their weapons and leave. Though we maintained an even eye contact, looks that confused me just as much as him passing through both of our expressions, and never once faltering until they disappeared into the tree line as well.

"Listen," He said, stepping closer to me, "I know you don't really like Wendy all that much, but I find her quite amusing, so if you could keep your snide-"

"Peter," I snorted again. "It's not that I don't like Wendy- I just don't give a damn about her."

His gaze was steady, and he tightened his lips in an unsure way until he gave me a curt nod. "Well," he said, rocking on his heel as his look changed into a casual one. "We need to get Naira tonight."

"Woah- what?" I asked and backed up a few steps, worry crawling through my limbs. "Why? Did something happen?"

He stepped forward again, "No, but we just need to get her to see what's really going on, and I need you to come."

I shook my head, desperation in my tone, "Please Peter, do we really need to do this tonight? I mean- can't we just wait and see how it plays out?" I crossed my arms over my chest as he neared me.

Peter placed both hands on my arms as he stepped into my space, a pitying frown appearing, "No, sorry, but we can't. Plus it's nothing we can't handle. It's not like Tiger Lily wouldn't be thrilled for us to get her off her hands."

I sighed, so unsure about the entire scenario that even when it played out in my head I shivered, and I thought of every single thing that could go wrong, but just because that's what I do. And though I preferred to enjoy the smaller things, this was rather large on my scale, and how would we ever be able to pull off something like kidnapping Naira?


End file.
